As Requested, Legal Update

It's been over a year since this started and there's no clear indicator how long it'll be before a trial. Could be another year.

Since I'm in the middle of legal action, if I lie to you about what's turned up here the fact I lied could be used against me in court, so remember that when reading this...

My text exchange with Michelle, day one.

Until the trial what basically happens is both sides produce documents and try to scare the other side into settling on favorable terms. The documents so far take two forms: things from the time in question (receipts, photos, emails, etc) and signed statements from witnesses.

Both sides have had over a year to produce stuff. Here's what we got:

If you recall, Mandy’s claim is cushioned by three people: Jennifer, Hannah and Vivka.

-All of Jennifer’s claims and much of Mandy’s are about some nebulous other women offscreen that I was allegedly terrible to. Other women have indeed been asked by Mandy's legal team to testify to me being a sexual abuser and they refused—instead, two women who texted me about overtures to them and/or their friends from Mandy's team then decided to submit statements in my defense instead. 

-There’s a document of Jennifer literally saying she was fine with me but now that she’s hearing these post-break-up accusations from Mandy she is re-evaluating events from the past. Hannah was in the same position, there are lots of recorded exchanges right up to the end where Hannah’s asking me for help, sincere dating advice, etc.

-Vivka doesn’t even offer a theory about why her phantasmagoria of claims of being coerced to do various things doesn’t match the emails and texts she was sending at the time. And that email record is extensive since Mandy and I were in thousands of miles away in Montreal while Viv was moving her stuff in to our apartment, so there’s lots of friendly logistical emails, love letters, etc. despite Viv alleging later that she was somehow “forced” to move in with us. 

-Mandy gets caught undeniably lying in the documents more than once. For instance, in the very first message of the entire legal case Mandy responds to my lawyer reaching out with: "I forwarded your email to my lawyer. You won't be speaking directly with me".

But...Mandy didn't have a lawyer and admitted it in her next email.

-If anyone was expecting any documents from the time of the alleged incidents that record, report or corroborate any abuse—there aren’t any. Mandy’s neither submitted nor even promised to submit anything like that. Though there are morning-after documents like “Hey that was fun, let’s hang out again!”.

-Other than these women, there were seventeen other women who had significant regular contact with Mandy and I while we were together--family, best friends, the I Hit It With My Axe crew, lovers, etc.

-One is Satine Phoenix, who made an ambiguous public twitter statement under career-pressure (she says she saw no abuse but believed Mandy anyway). 

-The other sixteen opposed Mandy's accusations and half of them wrote statements actively supporting me in court.

-And all of them had known Mandy longer than the women who supported her claim. (And there are more statements from more witnesses on my behalf on top of that.)

-Every lawyer I talk to is baffled by the stuff Mandy's team thinks is evidence of abuse. Here's a visual aid, employing a quote from her affidavit. 

Click to enlarge

-So  given all this why is Mandy still going? I don't know, but holding to a hate-tinted view of someone you used to love is, according to doctors, consistent with the diagnosis she told me she had.

Borderline Personality Disorder

Why would she say these things if they weren't true?

Mandy was diagnosed before we ever met with Borderline Personality Disorder (as was Jennifer). This may account for the accusations. Here's proof. This is Mandy explaining the diagnosis to me after talking to one of her therapists in 2010:

Here is the Mayo Clinic's list of signs and symptoms talking about how BPD manifests in relationships:

Symptoms  

Borderline personality disorder affects how you feel about yourself, how you relate to others and how you behave. 

Signs and symptoms may include:

• An intense fear of abandonment, even going to extreme measures to avoid real or imagined separation or rejection

• A pattern of unstable intense relationships, such as idealizing someone one moment and then suddenly believing the person doesn't care enough or is cruel

• Rapid changes in self-identity and self-image that include shifting goals and values, and seeing yourself as bad or as if you don't exist at all

• Periods of stress-related paranoia and loss of contact with reality, lasting from a few minutes to a few hours

• Impulsive and risky behavior, such as gambling, reckless driving, unsafe sex, spending sprees, binge eating or drug abuse, or sabotaging success by suddenly quitting a good job or ending a positive relationship

• Suicidal threats or behavior or self-injury, often in response to fear of separation or rejection

• Wide mood swings lasting from a few hours to a few days, which can include intense happiness, irritability, shame or anxiety

• Ongoing feelings of emptiness

• Inappropriate, intense anger, such as frequently losing your temper, being sarcastic or bitter, or having physical fights

A lot of people in the game community that spread the accusations don't trust clinical diagnosis or language, so here is some description of how this goes from people who suffer from BPD:

I Got A Public Apology--And Cash

A lot of gamers joined Mandy's harassment campaign because they believed I somehow deserved to be libeled--largely due to Fox News-style conspiracy theories spread and/or invented by RPG conspiracy theorist Paul Matijevic aka Ettin. So when it comes to seeking accountability for the harassment, he seemed like a good place to start.

Ettin has a long history of stirring up hatemobs against game designers on twitter and on forums where he's acted as moderator (Something Awful and RPGnet), so I did what Dungeons & Dragons should've done in 2014 and what White Wolf Publishing should have done in 2017: I sued Ettin for defamation.

Paul has been in contact with Mandy. This week he admitted the claims weren't true and wrote me a check, he's posted it in several places:

Obviously gamers continuing to spread this shit is exhausting and stupid. If you can help by fact-checking people spreading bullshit in gamer circles: thanks.